Sunday, February 21, 2010

half way there!

hello everyone - tad was right - it is Sunday and i am ready to slowly join the world again. so here is the newest.

It hasn't been the easiest week or two. it started last week when we were snowed in - i was drinking my morning coffee and watching the Today show. There was a story about a fox news reporter( about 40ish with young children) who was going through chemo for a rare type of breast cancer called Triple negative. As i listened - i thought - this is ME! None of my MANY doctors had ever labeled me as triple negative - but her details were exactly mine. It means that you are NOT estrogen responsive, Progesterone responsive or Her2 positive. This kind of cancer is particularly aggressive and has a high rate of reoccurring. Tad came in from shoveling (again!) and i told him. He agreed that it sounded like me , and i left a message for my oncologist to call me. when he finally did - he confirmed that Yes i am triple negative - but "i was so hopeful that they didn't want to spoil my upbeat attitude". so now i feel like the wind has been taken from my sails. i know that i will beat this ( it doesn't change anything about this round), but i know that i have to make some changes in my life so that i can keep this monster away! Where i was thinking that all of these "negatives" where a good thing - not so much! so it has been an emotional roller coaster as well as a physical one this time around. I am frustrated that my doctors thought it was their choice of what to tell me and what not to. Did they think that i would NEVER find this out?! And isn't it good to know so that I can take care of myself the way i need to! SOOOOO i am going to really research some homeopathic ways since they tell me " there is nothing they can do to keep it away". Not the words that i want to hear - or that i will accept! I WILL be here for my kids and i WIll do what ever it takes to keep myself healthy - and if this happens again - i will kick its ass again! so that is where i am at now - back to being feisty. Christy and Debbie - get ready - you are going to have one strong willed girl to train this summer!

As tad said before - this is starting to feel like FOREVER! - but we are making it and will be stronger for it!

So - i know - lots of exclamation points this time - but i think kinda appropriate!!!!

after i get moving again - there isn't much to tell - so i will write in a couple of weeks. in a month i will start to discuss surgery options with my "team" so i will keep you all posted on that.

thanks - as always- for all of your loving words and thoughts - our family loves you all

SAM

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